The Groundwork for Success
Today, there is a great amount of emphasis on students and academic achievement. Depending on whom you prefer to believe, the fault is either with the school system, a lack of sufficient funding, the parents or the students. Regardless, success in students is tied to confidence and confidence starts with a positive self-esteem.Self-esteem can be coached. It starts with a dedication to the ideal that self-esteem in others is a personal mission. When you make self-esteem a personal project, you benefit from that effort as well. Because young people will meet so many different people over the course of their educational experiences, they need a person who can coach them to deal with people who deflate their being. This can include youth social circles and other teachers or administrators.
Here are 7 suggestions for you when helping others accept him/herself by building greater self-esteem:
1. Everybody is good at something, so tell them, often. Also, help them identify other areas that they are good at and recent situations where they were helpful. Build their confidence by “delegating” more tasks and responsibilities.
2. Always thank people; people like to hear “thank you.” Showing you appreciate the effort of others helps build their self-esteem. Build confidence by adding compliments to the thank you’s.
3. Open lines of communication with those people who are shy or lack confidence by saying, “I like the way you ____________.” Words are powerful; negative words can easily ruin a day or a person’s self-esteem. Conversely, positive wording builds confidence and sets the stage for future participation. To be a role model is difficult because what you say matters.
4. People are social beings by design. Hearing compliments and positive words during feedback provides the spark for increased effort and participation. As long as the words are genuine, you can’t say enough!
5. Find positive qualities in people every day. Unlike the suggestion in number 1 above that may be physical or informational, positive qualities are attitudes and/or behaviors that exemplify self-esteem is building. Build confidence by illustrating how those attitudes or behaviors are leading to successful real-life outcomes.
6. To avoid looking “Pollyannaish” or “phony,” always be sure to link your observations to demonstrated examples. If a student helps another student with a problem or some other need, bring that real-life example into your positive reinforcement. Personal actions are the best way to reinforce the behaviors of positive self-esteem.
7. With so many instances of people experiencing negative reinforcement by others, always present examples of him or her being a worthwhile person. When things seem to be going all wrong or people are getting very difficult, teach your mentee to say, “I am a worthwhile person” in his or her head or spoken softly to help clear the negativity. Positive self-imagery works; help others to understand its value.
Always be a role model even to those you may never meet or mentor. Every person has a “story.” By recognizing that they are dealing with extraordinary circumstances, you can maintain a high level of empathy. The more you are seen as a consistent and positive role model, the greater the likelihood that others will listen when you offer to help.
Finally, it is important to “be there.” The more you observe the better you understand the circumstances a person is trying to overcome. The more you observe the more likely behaviors will change, building the kind of outcomes you are hoping to create.
A hidden connection is stronger than an obvious one.
---Heraclitus
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