WIN-WIN
The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory but progress. --- Joseph JoubertArgument and debate are ingrained in America, its education system and its citizens. The central part of democracy is the freedom to have opposing views. Debate has its origins in ancient Greece and has been part of the American fabric since its independence.
American public school systems follow the philosophies of Socrates, Aristotle and Plato. In their minds, debate was part of learning and added to new thinking. Today, debate is an excuse for a shouting match, with each side believing that the louder they can talk the more important their words are. Richard Nixon said in 1970, that people need to stop shouting at each other in order to be heard. Unfortunately, some talk-TV shows, with their overpaid and under-prepared commentators, use shouting to “brow beat” others into their way of thinking. They set an inappropriate example that viewers believe is a correct action to follow.
Add to this mix of shouting debates the idea that arguments are defined so there can only be one outcome and thinking becomes even more manipulated. For example, eavesdropping on telephone conversations is against democratic principles of right to privacy. Yet, people will say that that right should be set aside to protect America. They have re-defined the argument from loss of freedom to the need for security. Instead of debating the value of loss of right to privacy or other ways to detect terrorist conversations, they make the argument about securing the homeland.
A poor definition of the topic leads us to debate that is inappropriate and basically “BS.” How can anyone debate the idea of living safely in your own country? Hence, we lose the right to privacy.
Is there anything people can do to change what has happened over the past 25 years? Yes; first, practice listening and absorbing what the other person is saying. Ask more questions to understand the nature of the discussion. Basically, take the attitude that whatever your opinions, they need to take a “back seat” to the other person while they are talking and explaining their point of view. This is a purely American trait to interrupt and fail to listen.
Be active with your listening by asking questions about the other person’s comments. Try to build understanding before offering any of your opinions or comments. If there are emotions, properly identify the emotion. For example say, “you sound angry,” if you think that is the emotion. The person will tell you if you are wrong.
The bottom line is that we need to argue and have debate to help us think. We don’t need shouting matches or contrived debate or what some people are calling BS.
Health
The US Surgeon General has released the following information about second-hand smoke:
Kills 46,000 people per year due to heart disease
Kills 3000 people per year due to lung cancer
Kills 430 newborns due to sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)
In children, second-hand smoke causes:
790,000 ear infections
200,000 cases of asthma
24,000 low birth-weight or pre-term deliveries
Here’s a double-whammy: the people making some of the lowest wages such as waitresses, waiters and bartenders are at the greatest risk for second-hand smoke.
Finally, more than 40 percent of non-smoking adults and 60 percent of children ages 3 to 11 are exposed to second-hand smoke. When we wonder why the nation can’t afford decent healthcare for all its citizens, let’s not forget how we put ourselves and others at risk because of our lifestyle choices.
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